Escape.

So i used to escape. Everyday, for hours on end. I roleplayed. It's this...cult on myspace. And to be honest it's pretty epic. If you're a writer, or creative at all it's for you. If you're an aspiring actor/actress. This is for you. IF you're a troubled kid who needs an escape, this is also for you.

You begin with a character. Boy or girl, choose what you want. I roleplayed a girl for a bit, then tried a guy for a bit. Both interesting and fun. You then choose a name. The more the creative the better, yet also the more simplistic the better. Then you choose a face.


Now i did this back when High School Musical was just kicking off. Everyone was Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Tisdale, Zac Efron and Lucas Grabeel. Then the Jonas Brothers and Hannah Montana came on the scene and everyone choose them. Then suddenly someone came up with the brilliant idea to use models. "Scene" girls, and "Page Models". It's hard to describe all these things, but once you get involved you get hooked.

Next you choose your poison. Para or one-liners. Pretty much everyone starts out as one liners, you get used to how things work. Para [paragraph] is for when you're comfortable and ready to be more descriptive. The more creative people take the route [as did i].

Then, you create your history. Everyone has a background story, they usually put this on their profile so its public, you choose who you want to talk to, and know what their like, their character. Then you start communications.



To most people this will seem stupid and crazy. But for me it was an escape. And i made really good friends. I've been friends with one girl, Molly [her real name is colleen] for about five years, almost six now. We text, aim, myspace. All that jazz. She's amazing. I confide in her, text her when something good happens. And she does the same.       This escape...is like no other. It's stepping into another world, another life. A life where everything is fine. And sometimes drama happens. It's like a new life, but you have better control of it. And you do get hurt, you loose people, but in the end it's all unreal. And that's the relief, when it gets to be too much, you can step away.

Before i said roleplaying was like being  in a cult. Cult is a strong word, but it fits. Outsiders don't and can't understand until they try it, and once you try it you're hooked.

I've now left this amazing escape behind me, roleplaying every now and then with the friends i've made. But basically put it all to a stop. Now i escape through writing. It's really my only escape. I can control what happens. Me. and no-one else. I can be involved in things that i only can dream of happening to me, or that are my worst nightmare. I go through a high range of emotions while i'm writing. I've been so happy and smiling while writing, then even crying as i write. I have my escape, and it doesn't need anyone's approval but my own.

So what's your escape?

Burn baby burn.

Michael, [my bro] JUST came downstairs and has this giant hole in the front of his pants. and he goes "man i tried to iron my pants and it did this!" Then i said, "haha really?  how hot was it? what kind of pants are those?"

Their nylon pants. The iron melted his pants. So funny.

Regardless, i got a new phone. :] the LG something something. idk all the phone names are stupid to me. But its a go phone from walmart. Touch screen dial, and a slide out QWERTY keyboard. i'm happy. i should be getting it in a week, it has to be shipped. I just open it up and put my SIM card into it. Thats what i did with the phone i have right now. A little nokia bullet. well i call it my bullet, thats not its real name. But after my razor died after having it for 5 years, i didn't want to pay zillions of dollars for some new phone and i needed one on the spot so i got my nokia for $15 at walmart. I planned on having it for a month, and letting my dad buy me a nice phone. Well i still have my nokia, over a year later. So, its time for a new phone. the LG something. :] and i paid for it myself. Which is okay it was only $84 online. and i get it shipped for free. So i'm happy.

So that concludes this blog. An odd blog, i know. Get over it.

Butterfly fly away.

well I'm back in America. i haven't posted in a while... i got home march 30th. so it's almost my 1 month mark for being back home. i gotta say its weird. i still haven't gotten to see all my friends, i got a job at a local grocery store, got in a relationship, then got out of it. Just weird. But back to relationship business...there's this guy. *big sigh* and his name is Jonathon. I gotta say he's the only one who tugs on my heart strings. BUT he's currently in Texas. He comes back soon though [hopefully].

I work at a grocery store, Lowes Foods. My mom works there too...it's pretty epic. 

One of the CSL's [Customer Service Leader]...well let's just say "i'm looking for hot stuff baby this evening, i want hot stuff baby tonight" and my bff [beth] AGREES! He's cute. :] Bottom line.

Moving on...OMG GLEE!!!! it's back! :] it makes me so happy. Glee TRULY is the ONLY thing that makes me unconditionally happy. End of story. 

what else... idk my life IS average. but i enjoy average...i know nothing else. 

je te promets. 

How do you love someone without getting hurt?

cute picture huh? well i like it. So here's the past month in a nutshell. I learned how to ski, went to school a lot. Uhm, the only thing interesting is...this past weekend i spent in Autrans, which is a little town on the top of the Vercors Mountains. There was a big rotary get together, and we welcomed the south hemi's. Two girls from autralia, one from argentina, one from south Africa and one from new zealand.

I'm good friend with all of them except the girl from argentina, but she doesn't speak english too much. Or too much french so...yea. But the others, i'm tight with. haha

Erin is the girl from south africa [pictured at right]. She is too adorable! She was like "I love hearts!" she just says the cutest things all the time. And we got along so well. And we talked so much just about random things, and i had to explain wal-mart to her. And we talked about just the different things between USA, SA, and FR. It was cool.

Here's New Zealand! Her name is Laura! She's super nice! We talked about Stuart a bit. I gave her some advice about the exchange and what not. She speaks WAY differently then Stuart does. Stuart had a british accent [how i dont know.] And she has a "true" New Zealand accent. She's adorable as well.

Both of those girls are just so nice! Their not 'hardcore' or 'bad-asses'. Their just down to earth people looking for a life changing time and a good time. Gotta love it. Well I'm going to conclude this entry with a quote. "An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind. " -Mohandas Ghandi.

So long, farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, goodbye...

today is a sad day. i had to say goobye to my brother Stuart. for those who don't know...Stuart is from New Zealand. We are both exchange students in France and oddly ended up in the same house [super rare thing]...[but a big  blessing]

Stuart leave officially tomorrow early in the morning, but we had to say our final goodbyes today. Because i switched families this past Sunday, anyway, Since he's from the Southern Hemisphere he came January of 2009 and Leaves January of 2010. It is now January of 2010.


We got to live together for four months. An amazing four months filled with laughter, and well laughter. We didn't let ourselves get into arguments, if something came up we would push it aside and not let it affect us. We had too little time together and knew it needed to be spent well. And we did spend it well. I know have a brother, forever, no matter where either of us are on the earth, whether its France, United States, or New Zealand.

Stuart, god he honestly can not know how much he meant to me. This exchange...i started it out in a different state of mind than i am in right now. I can't describe either states of mind, but it's just changed. And Stuart has helped me realize what this year is all about. He's helped me become confident in who i am as a person, as a daughter, as a student, as a sister, as anything i want to be.

He will always be welcome in my home no matter what. I just can't put into words my emotions right now. Stuart, if you are reading this, [and i know i've said this before but..] thank you. You are hte best exchange brother i could have asked for. And as i sat on the tram going home alone this afternoon after saying goodbye, and i felt a tear i tried so hard to fight back slowly roll down my cheek, i knew that an amazing boy with blonde hair, an odd choice in fashion, and a quick tongue had changed my life.

Stuart [again if you are reading this.] look down at your chest. Then a little to the left. and remember, i'll always be there.

Feels Like I'm Losing;; My Heart Keeps On Bruising.

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - Just days after tying the knot after years of abstinence, Kevin Jonas of the pop sensation the Jonas Brothers stunned his teen aged fans by announcing that "to be honest about it, sex was not worth the wait."

"After we did it, I was kind of like, that's it?" Mr. Jonas told reporters at a New York press conference.

As to whether Mr. Jonas' bride agreed with his "that's it?" assessment, Mr. Jonas remarked, "That's what she said." <-- dude how funny is that? Gotta love Kevin Jonas. I personally think sex isn't gonna be all that it's cracked up to be. But i'm still in no rush to have it. It's not something that needs to be done right now. And I'm a "true christian" for saying this but, i DO think sex is more than just sex, it's a bond between two people, who intend to spend their lives together. But i just hope Kevin and Danielle hold off on the children for awhile. Even though Nick is doing his side project, i still expect some things in the next couple years from my three favorite boys. **Okay i just need to say this, look at their faces in the picture above. I think those are the faces they all will make in bed. Joe is like "Oh yea!" and Nick is like "this is great" and Kevin is like "What the heck is going on?!"

Moving on, literally, today is moving day. Tonight, i will sleep in my new and HUGE bed. I'm excited I'll be able to stretch! You have no idea what that means to me! haha But the bed is really hard, and i hate hard beds, though i usually end up sleeping good, i just don't like the way they feel when I'm first trying to fall asleep. idk I'm picky. But I'm excited to move, in the next..TWO months i have a lot going on. Mainly in Feb. i have a lot going on...So I'm excited. I'm hoping these last five and a half months will be smooth and I'll learn a lot more and hopefully speak more and more. Then in the end when i have dinner with both of my families my first family will say "Wow you've improved so much!" I want that to happen. Now honestly I'm not very proactive. That's just not my personality. I've more like 'it will happen if it wants to...' that's pretty much my life attitude, with school, with work, with anything. I'm just a naturally relaxed person, i don't stress the little things, and i barely stress the big things. It's only life. I don't know, i just...i can't bring myself to stress about things, and when i try to progress towards something i end up just usually slowing everything down in the end. je sais pas...

Anyway, today is my big sister's 20th birthday. And it's weird to think that she's 20 years old. I'm only 16. It's just weird to realize, like finally realize we're growing up. Her boyfriend of like, pshh idk a year[?] is like my old brother. I miss him just as much as i miss my actual family. And I'm having to start and think about college, and what major I'd like to go into [though I've known for years, I'm one of those people] and look at what college's offer though courses and a degree for it. And i have to start thinking about scholarships and it's crazy! When i get back home I'll be a senior in school. I'll start my senior year in high school with my restricted license. Yea i turn 17 [the age in SC where you get your FULL license no matter what] two months after school starts. MEANING, if i start college in the fall of 2011, I'll start college when I'm 17 and not 18 like about 90% of students who go to college. And I'm hoping for university. Not tech/comm college [like my sister, though i love her] I just have bigger plans. Well, i'm going to stop here, i want to watch a movie to pass time.

☮ ♥ OhSnap.