Start Of Something New.

So this is my third blog...site. I saw a friend had a blogspot, and i liked it wayyyy better than what i have. So im switching. You can read previous blogs here --> CLICK HERE FOR BLOG

<-- awesome picture right?

But now i'm starting here.

So today is Oct. 12, 2009. I arrived in France on the 26th of August, so i'm two weeks shy of two months.

i was taken out for ice cream today by my counselor Christian, after about ten minutes of talking i know why he took me out for ice cream...to soften the blow of being told im not liked by my families. he was all no, no, they like you just not how you're acting. uhm..im sorry do you want me to become who im not?

thats what i dont understand about the exchange, everyone is saying, "you need to change yourself for this exchange, you'll change regardless, but you have to change yourself." and im not like i don't, if it changes me on its own then so be it. but i will not willingly change myself so you like me better. that is a big HECK NO.

i am who i am, DEAL WITH IT.

i'm moody, naive, senseless, carefree yet careful at the same time and i could careless what you have to say about me. If you don't like me, awesome, i might not like you either. :P

Getting back to the talk that had me crying in public...

he called my parents back home, he called my french lesson teacher, he talked with both of my host families. i was like WTF? he was all i hate having to say this but..blah blah blah. In my mind i was all, oh whatever just send me home now. i don't care. But the odd thing is i do care, to a degree. its not like oh crap they don't like me, i did something wrong, im gonna be sent home. To me it was like, oh i might be sent home, i wonder if school will be tough to start up, its only been two months-ish. I could get a job and be set within' a couple weeks.

Then i think to myself, BAD MICHELLE, you shouldn't be thinking that. but i like thinking about going home, and what i really miss doing, like going to wal-mart, jsut to see what has changed.

Oh another weird thing i thought about, if i get sent home in good enough time, would i be able to get miley cyrus concert tickets, even for in like florida on the weekend or something.

People, even other exchange students, just don't get it. It's different yet slightly the same for everyone. but im so depressed all the time, and i hide it well, ask my host brother, he'd never even know.

this was on the wall in my school ----->

awesome right?